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I keep hearing in my spirit ‘Know your season.’
When you recognize the season you’re currently in, there is grace and supernatural peace that empowers you to be fully invested in it.
Often when I’m hearing these things for myself, it is for others as well. So I thought I would share some of my process.
This season for me right now is REST, SURRENDER, and BREATHE.
Kind of a weird season, especially at the beginning of a new year.
To be honest I thought this season would be just a few months of last year. Not knowing that I would get slammed with Covid and then spend three months in Australia over the new year. It seems to have extended this season for me.
Honestly, these last five months have been a ‘forced rest. God knows I don’t do ‘rest’ well. Ha!
However, I still don’t feel it’s over. And that’s the tension because my rational mind thinks five months is plenty! And yet I still don’t feel the release.
I do feel rested and recuperated physically from sickness.
I do feel rested emotionally.
Seeing my kids and reconnecting with family and friends in my country has helped immensely.
This trip has definitely reestablished my love and roots in my home country for which I am grateful.
I know that part of me is still grieving the loss of a continuing relationship with Cody. But this time at home has definitely helped reroute and rewire us as a family. Moving forward together and creating some happy memories since Cody moved to Heaven.
Bittersweet but necessary.
And the one beautiful thing in all of this; is because we carry him so close to our hearts, we feel he’s with us, even when physically he’s not.
I also feel rested spiritually.
But to be honest, also a little empty or vacant. Although those words aren’t really adequate in describing the Truth. I know Holy Spirit resides within me and never leaves me neither empty nor vacant.
Maybe the more appropriate word would be ‘space.’
I feel like there is now space.
Space where I can breathe.
Space that presents an opportunity to explore, think, dream and connect with God.
For me, this space has only really felt clear very recently.
It has always been there because it’s a space where Holy Spirit resides inside of me.
But it can also be filled so easily with ‘stuff’.
For me that ‘stuff’ has been grief, busyness, fear and worry, and emotional baggage that needed to be processed.
Physical exhaustion and recovery from sickness, fatigue, and brain fog- basically being overloaded from life, have all taken up a lot of space.
It hasn’t escaped me that us clearing out our storage and work warehouse these past few weeks, has been a metaphor for what needs to be done and what God is currently doing in my space internally.
We have decreased our ten pallets of storage to three. And cleared out all the unnecessary stuff that we haven’t used in 10 years, or missed.
We’ve removed old tires, steel, aluminum, junk, old tools, and things ‘we might use one day,' to the rubbish dump, recyclers, and to goodwill.
It was hard, dusty, dirty, sweaty and at times heartbreaking work. Sorting through a lifetime of memories and clearing out and selling a business that has supported us both as a family and ministry for over 20 years is exhausting.
Sifting through boxes of clothes and precious memories and mementos; some that we have kept, like my children’s first shoes and family photos. And some we have had to let go, like Cody’s sports gear and school books.
Now the warehouse is cleared up and much cleaner.
We can breathe a sigh of relief.
There is room!
A bit like the space inside of me.
These last few weeks have enabled me to clear and clean up, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
I have let go of the unnecessary (well a lot of it) and cleared out all the junk that was taking up so much - too much - of my space.
I have kept tucked away those things that are precious and close to my heart. And a few things that are practical and will be used in the future. Completely boxed, wrapped, and stored to be utilized in the years to come.
I have swept out and scrubbed the floors and walls of my space.
There is still some residue and a little dust to be dealt with.
But there is space.
Room to breathe again.
Room to dream again.
Room to create, think, listen and pray.
Room for Him!
Room to dance and play and laugh again.
Room for grace, love, and joy.
Room to partner with Him. Room and space to discover and experience love.
Room for this next season of life.
Room to be me.
So although I don’t yet know what this season fully holds. I do recognize the season I am in, at this very moment.
I now have the space, the capacity, and a clear mind and heart to discover together with God.
To explore and to dream. And to know deep in my heart that there is grace for the season I am in.
I don’t need to rush. Or answer questions that I don’t know the answers to yet.
I don’t need to put pressure on myself or come under anyone else’s expectations or desires for me.
(That is definitely a process for the ‘people pleaser’ in me. )
I don’t need to come under the fears and worries of this world. Or the fear of missing out.
This season for me is REST- in Him,
SURRENDER -to Him - my hopes, expectations, agendas, lies I have been believing, mindsets, my time, plans and endless distractions.
And BREATHE - take the time to dream, explore, discover, and draw closer to Him.
And when I learn to do that, it will set the foundation up for the next season I’m about to step into.
How about you, can you recognize anything that might be taking up some of your space?
What season are you currently in the moment?
How is this season preparing you for what is to come?